My Dad Deserved Respect — But Hospital Staff Laughed at Him in His Final Moments
The Hospital Staff Mocked My Biker Dad While He Was Dy.ing
The ER staff treated my 68-year-old father with icy indifference when he suffered a major stroke while riding his Harley.
I didn’t realize I was close enough to hear a doctor murmur, “Another organ donor who thought he was invincible,” as they wheeled him in.
His blood-stained leather vest was still on as he lay unconscious. He had faded tattoos on his arms and matted silver hair. I observed nurses comparing the rough exterior, the patches from combat tours, and the scent of engine oil.
Then one of them took a picture of me in a graduation gown out of his pocket. Their faces changed. Their faces softened with surprise. However, they had already painted him as an elderly motorcyclist who wasn’t worth saving.
They failed to recognize him for who he truly was: a weekly volunteer who read to children with cancer, a dedicated single parent, and a distinguished war medic.
A man who founded a charity organization that helped veterans with PTSD raise millions of dollars. They didn’t care about any of that. He was already a cliche, thanks to them.
I vowed to give the strongest man I knew the care he deserved and to make them regret their treatment of him when he recovered, as I sat in the intensive care unit that night watching machines breathe for him.
I was unaware that those assurances would reveal something more significant.
Or that his jagged edges would make me face my own uneasiness.
I came back in my best suit the following morning, prepared to speak up.
But I was taken aback by him. Unable to talk, he pushed a notepad in my direction. He had written: “CHECK ON KATIE” in wobbly handwriting.
“Who is Katie?” I inquired.
His writing was: “NEW GIRL. CAN. CER WARD. frightened. I vowed to be present.
His first thought was of a scared youngster, very close to death. He was that person.
He wasn’t at blame for the collision. He had put the bike down so he wouldn’t collide with a careless motorist. The trauma caused the stroke. He probably saved his life with the helmet I provided him.
A clinical update was then provided by the neurologist, Dr. Mercer: brain swelling, uncertain result. He then discovered that he had traces of cannabis in his body.
I snapped, “It’s prescribed.”
“Medical marijuana—for PTSD related to combat.” If anyone had looked at his chart, you would have known that.
Mercer’s tone shifted when I revealed that my father was a volunteer at a children’s hospital, a veteran, and the father of a malpractice lawyer. I hadn’t practiced in years, and he didn’t need to know that.
I discussed Katie with Nurse Patel back in the intensive care unit. Her expression changed when I brought up my father’s charitable activities. “It’s… surprising,” she remarked.
I answered, “People aren’t always what they seem.” “You are more than your name tag, I’m sure of it.”
She gave a nod. “He will receive the deference he is due.”
As I sat next to my dad, I thought about the man who raised me alone after my mother passed away, who accompanied me on cross-country bike rides, and who never showed me how difficult life had been.
When he picked me up as a teenager, I had asked him to park down the street. I had felt ashamed. It never bothered him. He simply continued to be faithful, compassionate, and authentic.
It was my turn to stand up for him now.
Just for the sake of illustration, I used the term Children’s Memorial. When “Road Dog” was mentioned, the woman who responded brightened. She offered to collect the children’s cards and notes after I told her what had transpired.
Hold on.
00:00 00:01 01:31 Commuting
I then gave Dad’s best buddy Jake Martinez, who is also a co-founder of the Veterans Motorcycle Association, a call.
“I have a plan,” I declared.
Jake didn’t hesitate to answer. “Anything you require. Yes, you are his daughter.
The mood in the intensive care unit started to change by the afternoon. A respiratory therapist spoke in a kind tone. A motorbike magazine was dropped off by an orderly. Grinning, one nurse moved his blanket.
The front desk then gave a call. They reported that a large package had come.
Katie was the one. Seven-year-old, headscarf-wearing, bald after chemotherapy. Handmade cards were all around her. She remarked, “Grandpa Road promised he’d be here.” “He never fails to fulfill his commitments.”
She extended a plush puppy.
“This is courageous. I believe he needs it more today than when he gave it to me.
.
I wheeled her into the intensive care unit with her consent. She told him about the other children and the cards. In spite of the pain, he managed to give a thumbs up. She gave him a CD of well wishes as she was leaving.
Doctors and nurses stood silently outside.
They did not treat him the same way that night. When Brave slid, they lovingly tucked him back, called him by name, and explained each step. Color, cards, and doodles abound in his room.
.
I slept on the chair next to him, prepared and proud.
The first phase was finished. Now they saw him.
The second phase would start tomorrow.
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Life Insurance vs. Annuity: What’s the Difference?
Two financial products typically rise to the forefront of a newcomer’s “do I need this?” inquiry: life insurance and annuities. T…
hey might seem similar at first because they’re offered by insurance companies, charge premiums and sometimes offer a death benefit but these two products approach financial planning from rather different angles. Determining why you need what you’re buying will help you pick the best product for your needs.
Why Purpose Matters First
View life insurance and annuities as two sides to the same currency.
You’re building wealth versus protecting beneficiaries in risky scenarios.
Make sure loved ones can cover costs if you die prematurely Life insurance Provides a tax‑free payout to your beneficiaries upon your death
Ensure you’re able to access reliable income throughout your golden years Annuity Takes what you’re putting away and turns it into a steady income during your lifetime
Naming your goal upfront usually makes the solution pretty clear.
Life Insurance at a Glance
Main mission: Get money to your family when you die to cover living costs and handle your last expenses.
Payout: The money goes directly to your beneficiaries when you pass away.
Tax treatment: Death benefits are generally income‑tax‑free.
Core flavors:
Term life offers protection during specific years but is generally the least expensive type.
Whole life – long‑term coverage that also accumulates cash that you can tap.
Reality check: Your heirs may get less money depending on what you use your cash value for.
Annuities at a Glance
Main mission: Help ensure a steady stream of income you can use while you live—and can count on even after retiring.
Payout: You get monthly payments and any money your beneficiaries stand to receive is taxable.
Tax treatment: Taxes aren’t due on the earnings until you withdraw the money.
Core flavors:
Your money grows for a specified period then you begin receiving payments. Options are stable (fixed), tied to an interest index (fixed‑indexed) or connected to investment securities (variable).
Purchase an annuity now and after about a year you’ll start getting regular payments.
A longevity annuity turns its income payments on much later than usual—say, at age 80 or 85.
Reality check: Annuity payments consist of a portion of return from contributions as well as investment earnings, so only the earnings part is subject to taxation. This income is taxed as regular rather than capital gain income.
Choosing Between the Two
Start with “Why?”
Want to support loved ones if the unexpected happens or the business needs cash? Buying a life‑insurance policy provides that cushion.
Want reliable monthly payouts that you won’t exhaust before you die? Choose an annuity.
Layer if necessary.
Commonwealth strategy is to hold both types of policies: life insurance for surviving loved ones and an annuity for immediate and ongoing income.
Mind the taxes.
Most people don’t pay taxes on money paid out of life‑insurance policies. annuity payments don’t. When estimating your future retirement income, take into account your whole tax bracket.
Make sure the insurer you choose is firmly in the black and gives good customer service as well as offering the products that meet your needs.
Note both ratings from independent financial firms and ratings from customer‑satisfaction studies. A number of leading insurers offer a complete portfolio of life insurance and annuities so you can compare coverages and prices at once.
Common Misconceptions
Many people assume life insurance gets out of reach as they age.
It’s quite reasonable to buy term life even in your thirties or forties—and rates go even lower if you’re fit.
Many people worry that all the money they invest in an annuity is inaccessible for life.
Most deferred annuities give you the option to take controlled withdrawals or include emergency‑access add‑ons.
There’s an option to handle my savings myself and avoid an annuity.
So it’s if you’re confident about investing through the good and bad times for decades ahead. An annuity allows you to offload the lifelong investment needs to the insurance company.
The Bottom Line
Life insurance guarantees financial security for your family after you’re gone.
An annuity offers security during all the years ahead.
If you’re undecided, consult a qualified professional who sells both types of coverage and is able to illustrate the differences between them. You may choose one or the other or both products in a carefully designed mix that responds to your changing needs over time.
Tip: It’s a good idea to review your policy or contract regularly and after any major changes in your life.